10 Ways to Be More Intimate with Your Lover

by Jennifer Chowdhury

Honesty and communication make up the foundation for a healthy relationship. But, what exactly does it take to achieve these things? According to certified Sexologist Jaiya Hanauer, there are 10 important ways to build intimacy and make a deeper connection with your partner.

1. MAKING EYE CONTACT
The eyes are the doorways to a connected sex life. Although it may feel a little funny at first, making eye contact during sex tells your partner that all your attention is on him. It builds trust, which ultimately leads to a stronger sexual and emotional bond.

2. TOUCHING
Touching each other throughout the day builds longing for each other. Massaging, stroking, and caressing all produces oxytocin, which is the bonding chemical. To build a deeper connection, try touching each other without having sex. Build up the tension for a few days to make your next intimate an explosive encounter.

3. BREATHING
We do it automatically everyday but most of us don't realize that breathing is a way to heighten pleasure and arousal. When you breathe deeper, you bring more oxygen into the body, which allows you to be aroused at greater heights. Alternating your breath as you breathe into each other's mouths is an intimate exercise that has been used in ancient traditions as a way to share the soul.

4. EXPLICIT TALK
The simple act of sending a sweet text message or complimenting your lover can send blood rushing into the genitals. Not only does it build anticipation, but will also keep your partner thinking about you all day.

5. SETTING THE SCENE
Nothing breaks the mood like cell phones blaring and clutter all over your bedroom. Set the scene for intimacy with sensual music, candles, clean sheets and a shift in environment. Don't limit intimacy to the bedroom only, you can also create a stage for an encore performance in the living room or kitchen. Think of sex as a theatrical piece—you need the right lighting, right mood and sets. Stimulating your creativity as you prepare actually stimulates the sexual drive.

6. DOING SOMETHING EXTRAORDINARY
Taking the time out to do things for your lover that shows that you care and respect his feelings is very important. Plan to go to his favorite restaurant, run a simple errand for him or cook him an exquisite meal. Doing something for him out of the blue will surely increase the love he has for you.

7. TRYING SOMETHING NEW
Many couples get into patterns when it comes to sex. To break free of the bedroom doldrums, do something adventurous. Take a class together at a sex boutique, go skydiving or do something else that you have never done in bed before, but have always wanted to try.

8. SENSUAL FEATS
Creating a romantic dinner together with specific foods can actually form deeper bonds. Chocolate, for example, contains the chemical Phenethylamine (PEA) which is responsible for the feeling of being in love. Avocados boost both the male and female libido.

9. ROLE PLAYING
Using your imagination always gives a great boost to your sex life. If you consciously take on a fantasy role in the bedroom, the level of intimacy is heightened when you come back to your more traditional roles in the relationship. Try role-playing as an erotic masseuse and client or as a captor and captive.

10. ALLOWING YOURSELF TO BE VULNERABLE
In today's world, women are becoming stronger than ever and it takes a lot to let down our guards, especially if we've been hurt before. But, letting the walls around you melt and allowing your partner to penetrate you emotionally and physically are some of the best things you can do in a relationship. Share your deepest feelings with him and allow him to get to know all the different facets of your personality.


Original Article: sheknows.com

5 Ways to Get Intimate that Don't Involve Having Sex

by Kimberly Lo





Relationships and intimacy have been heavily on my mind recently.

Maybe it’s the heat or the fact that summer seems to be the beginning and end of many relationships, but its been a topic of much conversation between my friends and me.

One of the things that has come up is the difficulty of achieving true intimacy with another person. While many immediately think of sex when they hear the word intimacy, I often think that sex is a barrier to achieving intimacy.

It shouldn’t be the case.

Ideally, sex should bring two people closer together but often times it does the opposite. I am reminded of the Rilo Kiley song “Portions for Foxes”: And the talking leads to touching/ And the touching leads to sex/And then there is no mystery left.

Sadly, that is often what happens especially when the sex comes too early in a relationship. Granted, it’s still a matter of debate when is the right time to have sex in a relationship. I tend to believe that it varies greatly from couple to couple and depends a lot on the situation. However, here are some suggestions on getting intimate with a partner that doesn’t involve sex and can be used by any couple whether they already having sex or not.

Here they are:

1. Make a meal together.

Everyone has heard the expression that the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. There is a lot of truth to that. Food can be a great way to get to a man or woman’s heart. A lot has to do with the preparation of food. Even if it is just making a sandwich, food preparation is both an art and a ritual. Inviting someone to share in that is intimate. The sort of food that people like can be very revealing, too.  For instance, I once dated a man who never followed recipes and loved to improvise. It was probably no coincidence that he was like this in other areas of his life as well.

2. Photograph each other.

Using photography to get closer to each other doesn’t have to mean erotic photography or staging an elaborate pro-photography session. Just using a simple point-and-shoot or even a camera phone to photograph your significant other doing something very mundane can be a very fun, intimate activity. 
Looking at someone through a lens or a screen is different than looking at them with naked eyes. I thought it was nonsense when I first heard it, but it is possible to glean what the photographer thinks about his or her subject by how they photograph them.  Granted, some people hate to be photographed and get that deer in the headlight look as soon as anyone aims a camera at them, but many take it as an opportunity to clown around or pretend to be someone else. You can learn a lot about someone by how they act in front of the camera.

3. Go for a walk and talk.

I always feel more connected and open when I am walking and talking versus just doing the latter. I find that it’s a lot easier revealing personal, intimate information about myself when I am in motion than when I am still. Maybe it’s psychological because it feels like I can make a run for it if it goes badly. I don’t know. In any case, some of the deepest, most revealing conversations I have had with friends and lovers have occurred when I was walking with them.

4. Watch a sexy movie together.

A “sexy movie,” doesn’t have to mean an X-rated one or even an R-Rated one for that matter. One of my top sexiest movies of all time is the little-seen Possession which has no nudity whatsoever and features two main characters who fall in love via letter writing.

Indeed, if it’s very early in a relationship and you want to hold off on the sex for awhile, it’s probably a good idea to skip the flicks with lots of skin and explicit sex scenes.

Sexy means different things to different people, so it’s important to think about the things you find sexy rather than what the media says even though many entertainment sites have good suggestions if you are at a loss. (By the way, if you are looking for a way to combine #1 with #4, then I highly suggest Like Water for Chocolate. It’s one of the few movie adaptations that is just as good as the novel.)

5. Share each playlists or discuss your favorite albums.

This sounds a tad geeky, and it is, but much like the food someone prefers, a person’s taste in music often speaks volumes about them. Also, there are often stories that accompany a favorite album or song. For instance, do you love a certain song because it was on the soundtrack of your favorite movie in high school? Does listening to Nirvana’s “Nevermind” remind your significant other of that summer he spent abroad right after he graduated college? Stories behind favorite songs are often gateways to deeper conversations and revelations.

Lastly, no matter how you achieve it, remember that intimacy is an on-going process.

It’s probably impossible to ever fully know a person or for that matter fully share yourself with another person, but intimacy is an important part of any true relationship. It can be very scary to go to those places, but it doesn’t have to be. As these tips illustrate, it can even be fun and interesting to get intimate with another person.

Original Article: elephantjournal.com

I Need More... Sexual Intimacy

Today’s question is from L.

My fiancé and I are very much in love.  We love to do everything together.  We do have sexual problems though.  I like to be intimate more often.  He on the other hand, is very laid back and does not initiate sexual intimacy.  He says it’s not me that it’s his age and the medications that he takes such as Effexor and Lamictal.  He’s never made any efforts to change this.  Please help.

Alright L, this happens often.  This happens in many relationships.  You are not alone.  One person would like to have more sexual intimacy and in this case it’s you.  And there’s nothing wrong with a woman being an initiator.  It seems like this is your defined role and I know that you wish that it were different.  You could set a stage for this to occur in your sex life. 

I encourage you schedule in space to explore intimacy together.  Once you’re there, sit with each other and really be in the moment.  You don’t want to project on to that moment what’s going to happen.  How is it going to happen?  Just allow yourself, the space to meet each other.  When you sit and face each other, just allow the moment to become present with your intimacy.  And you can inquire within each of you what this intimacy wants to be now?  Allow what it wants to be in that moment to arise and see if you can both honor each of the insights that is coming to you for that particular moment in time. 

This takes a lot of the pressure off in sexual intimacy where so filled with ideas and images of what it might be like or should be like instead of just taking the moment and say what does this intimacy, what does this sexual exchange want to be right now?  And I feel that it’s going to take a lot of the pressure off of your partner. 

Sometimes we get laid back in and less interested and initiating because we feel that is going to be a lot of work on top of all our daily demands and responsibilities in life.  And we knew or actually present in the moment allowing what this intimacy wants to become and honoring that and initiating that.  Then, those pressures melt away and you can enjoy more at that rich intimacy just what you’re craving in that beautiful sexual exchange.

And also believe that eventhough there are real side-effects to taking certain medications such as lower energy, less sex drive that by stripping away the pressure and being really present at least a couple of times a week to each other and what your intimacy wants to be at that moment, you’ll start to see shift even with the circumstances at hand.

I encourage you in this exploration to check out A Thousand Years of Sexual Wisdom.  It has beautiful rituals for being present and allowing for more fun and more exploration during these moments that you’re designing what your intimacy wants to be.

Advice Relationship Ask Karinna: Betrayal of Trust

When someone has betrayed your trust in a relationship it feels like someone has punched you in the stomach and it feels absolutely terrible.

Depending on the level of intimate relationship you have with this person or persons, will determine how deep you feel the betrayal. For instance, if it is an acquaintance you would say "oh, that was wrong". But if it is a best friend or a spouse or a partner or really a tight colleague you will feel like your foundation has crumbled as your most intimate relationships make up your support system.

Most people will betray your trust because they are afraid of your truth. And I want you to really remember that.

Some suggestions for dealing with the betrayal of trust:

First, assess the situation. Determine what the betrayal was and how it was executed. Before you do anything else, just discover what it was. Before you talk to anyone. What was it? How are you getting this information? How do you know that this betrayal actually occurred?

Second, confront the situation. Make the person or people that betrayed your trust very aware through clear communication that you know what is happening.

Third, give them the opportunity to come clean. For the record is this true or not true? You ask for the reason why. Know that you may not get the real truth so you have to be prepared for that. If the party or parties answer that they don't know why it happened. Then you are dealing with people that are not connected to their own truth.

Last, ask for a remedy. Whether it is an apology or an acknowledgement or going to couples coaching or a proposed solution. Request this. Then you ask them if they are prepared to give that to you.

Often when people betray another person, they feel entitled or they blame the other party for why they betrayed you. When you get their response of how prepared they are to give you what you need in terms of a remedy you will know their level of value for you and their level of commitment to your relationship.

Do not back down from asking or expecting the truth and respect. It is the only way you can genuinely have a healthy love and a healthy life.

To support you more fully to deal with a betrayal see Intimate Wisdom, The Sacred Art of Love sections Honoring Yourself In Love and Characteristics of a Sacred Lover.

It’s Time For Part 3 Of Our Crowdsourcing Adventure: Support System

Ok everyone we are now on our 3rd part of our crowdfunding journey together, and in this next piece I am going to share with you all you need to know about
“The Support System,” but first, I’d like to thank each and every one of you for following by my side as I share this new chapter of my life, it means the world to me!

One of the most important questions I asked myself about was “how am I going to run a successful campaign?”

With so many questions on support insights, data and true experiences, I reached out to others as well as to the internet to gather as much data as I could.  I also contacted Carl at crowdsourcing.org, and he was such a valuable source of information and guidance for this piece, I truly can’t thank him enough!

Please take a moment to watch my next step in our journey together as we discuss the key pieces for gathering your support system!

Remember, Magic happens when all the right ingredients are there!

http://www.crowdsourcing.org/editorial/crowdfunding-adventure-part-three---the-support-system/19152

Visit my new website and sign up to receive free Sacred Love Quotes daily and Love Advice Videos weekly in your inbox! http://www.sacredlove.com/

How to Keep Money Issues from Messing Up Your Own Romantic Relationship

Money issue is usually an induce point for couples’ misunderstandings. Along with factors behind reasons, money troubles include messing up with your own romantic relationship. Couples chat impatiently in relation to young children, interpersonal blueprints as well as property, nonetheless seldom can they discuss willingly about income. Of course, revenue matters are seldom intimate; and so, it can be glaringly obvious those money issues may cause large difficulties for partners. It could make or separate a relationship.

Where Will The Challenge Sit?

Money concerns can certainly arise from a variety of trouble spots:
1. How budgets are currently being handled. Generally, one companion remains with all the responsibility with managing the budget. This contains cash strategy, paying the bills, etc. This can be very tense for that spouse executing a cash strategy. He or the lady may possibly think there're currently being saddled considering the responsibilities plus anxieties.
2. Couples have several perceptions towards money. People currently have diverse attitude toward money. While a few generally is a miser, people can be quite a spendthrift. This unique perspective generally displays this couple’s unique priorities too. While one companion could concern coming into financial debt, other partner will have a mellow frame of mind when it comes to financial loans plus credit. This also demonstrates crucial variations in a couple’s watch towards other parts which include relatives and children.
3. Deeper underlying troubles influencing the couple. Frequently, funds difficulties may be a symptom of the even larger romance issue. Often, quarrels aren't whatever they be visible on the finish. Once the top is definitely scraped, income misunderstandings may show a great deal larger along with more intense troubles.

How to Retain Money Issues out of Damaging Your Own Partnership

Before you even get into just about any relationship, you need to inspire on your own initially. You ought to acquire yourself without a doubt. If you're a holistic man or woman, it is also possible to be able to on purpose go with a lover who seems to explain to you the same interests, landscapes and point of view.

Young people need revenue to reside. Occasionally, you will discover people who wish a plentiful life-style. A few which you pick is one who is actually inwardly and outwardly compatible with you. He or she ought to be a person that explains to you related interest close to money.

Generally, folk have his or her group of weaknesses and strengths. They are fascinated by other people who showcase advantages throughout areas where they're poor. Since both partners work on developing and developing areas that can become healthier, they have got better chances with developing their variances plus working away issues, which include money.

Real relationships develop when you're compatible with another person in your mind, emotionally, physically, and emotionally therefore you really are serious about and like the way your relationship goes and also leisure activities that your romantic relationship produces out for any wholesome, pleased, as well as abounding life-including on your path of financial freedom.

Learn more about relationship issues at Love TV via http://www.sacredlove.com

Thank you for the Feedback!

Thank you Niki for your recent feedback....

Intimate Wisdom "Great book that summarizes the Tantric way of love with a format that's so easy and fun. Highly recommend this book and I've read many on the subject. By the way this has changed my whole life from suffering to contentment. Best $ spent on the subject so far!"
Niki La Jolla, California

Relationship Advice and Dating Tips Ask Karinna: Back in the Scene

“I have just recently divorced. The last 7 years of marriage have been terrible. I was living with a very immature control freak. Now I just want to move on and meet someone new. How can I get back in the scene again?” ~ C

I'm really sorry that you had such a terrible experience your last seven years of marriage. What I want to say to you is that number one to get back in the scene again you have to leave the baggage behind. You don't want to walk into the dating scene carrying a heavy weight on your shoulders ... that is your old relationship story ....your old experience being with a control freak. You need to get very, very clear about how that relationship served you. What did you learn from it? How were you inspired to become someone different from it? What did being with someone controlling and being in a terrible relationship teach you? Come out with the gold. Come out with the gifts.

That is the starting point for you for getting back into the dating scene.

So once you have that clarity and you come in fresh with all this new knowledge, al this new insight and all this empowerment then secondly you need a relationship makeover meaning discovering who you are as a lover today. You are different than the lover who entered into that relationship all those years ago.

Discover who she is, who she is emotionally? What does she need? What can she give physically mentally and spiritually?

Cultivate ...get into that great experience of cultivation and nurturing the lover in you. That is going to be very attractive to a new person.

The makeup and the wardrobe come after you have actually made over the lover within yourself. Do both. Enjoy the process. And come fresh, refreshed for love.

Thirdly I suggest trying Sacred Love Dating. You can find someone great to interact with and perhaps to start a relationship with. It is available nationally in the United States as well as UK. So you can choose. It is a great way to get back out there and start to connect but come without the baggage and come as a new lover.

The New SacredLove.com is Up

The New SacredLove.com launched into beta testing in March 2010 and is now on the fast track for reaching its' wider mainstream audience. We are so excited to be offering this one of a kind "love lifestyle site" that serves singles and couples in exploring and building a fun and meaningful love life right now.

From Singles On-line Dating to Couples Connection (the new facebook for couples) to the Love Spa audio/visual menu to Empowered Relationships TV shows offering inspiring programming for your love life Sacred Love is prepared to take your love life into orbit.

No more excuses! We have the support, access and answers for you in love!!!
Love, Romance, Excitement, Intimacy, Fun, and Fulfillment are your right, give it a try!

Be a Sacred Lover