25 Ways to Say "I Love You" Without Saying a Word

by Winifred M. Reilly 
Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

Recently, on a cross-country flight, my husband and I were seated on opposite sides of the aisle. Several times, he leaned toward me to ask, "Would you like a bite of my sandwich?" "Can I get you some water?" Once he offered to share the last bite of his cookie. A while later, he reached over and put his hand my arm, just to say, "Hi."

At the end of the flight the woman next to me said, "Your husband really loves you. I can tell."

And she's right. He does.

As couples, we express love through our everyday actions -- our gestures of kindness, our generosity, our attention, our touch.

We say, "Drive safely." "Take an umbrella." We kiss each other goodnight.

And our spouse hears,"I love you," in a way that touches more deeply than words.

We all have our favorite ways to show love. Here are some of mine:

1. Do the stuff neither of you wants to do. Someone has to call the plumber, resolve the mystery charge on the credit card, figure out what in the refrigerator is making that smell. Go ahead. Be the one.

2. Cut your partner some slack. We all forget things, lose things, or screw things up. Why rub it in?

3. Flirt. You're never too old or married too long to make it clear that the two of you have still got it going on.

4. Be patient. Like it or not, sometimes you just have to wait. Skip the eye roll or foot tapping that says, what took you so long? Take a few deep breaths. Relax.

5. Pay attention. As in full-on and undivided. Not every minute of every day, but show up when it counts.

6. Clean up, above and beyond the call of duty. Not your dirty cup? Who cares?

7. Keep two feet in, especially when things are difficult. Commitment is about staying with your challenges long enough to make things better.

8. Let down your guard. Vulnerability and intimacy are one and the same.

9. Receive and acknowledge your partner's acts of love. The happiest couples are those who notice and respond when their partner reaches out. A thanks or a smile is all that it takes.

10. Stop a fight in its tracks. One of the most loving things you can do is stay calm when your spouse is getting worked-up.

11. Look for the humor in those less-than-endearing behaviors. What's not to love about someone who second guesses the GPS?

12. Leave enough gas in the car, enough hot water for a shower, enough milk for coffee.

13. Make dinner. You don't have to be Julia Child. Simple is fine. Just give it your best shot.

14. Hug back. Kiss back. Smile.

15. Give your partner some space. Space to watch the ballgame in peace. Space to go for a run, call a friend, or curl up with a book.

16. Be willing to sleep with the window open a little more than you like.

17. Be willing to sleep with the window closed a little more than you like.

18. Stay in touch. You're busy. I'm busy. No one is too busy to text xoxo.

19. Your spouse wants to go back to graduate school, eat more fruits and vegetables, train for a marathon. Your response: that's great!

20. Be the first one to reach out after a fight. Don't think for a minute that the first person to give ground is admitting fault. Marriage isn't a game of chicken. It takes courage and kindness to yield.

21. Choose -- at least once in a while -- not to elbow your snoring spouse. Chances are you'll eventually snore, too.

22. Make your relationship a priority. Marriage doesn't stay sweet all on its own, year after year. Have a date night, a weekend getaway, keep work hours within bounds. And for goodness sake, when you're together, turn off your phone.

23. Think your spouse deserves a standing ovation? Tell someone how talented, smart, loving, gracious she is. How patient he is with the kids. How he makes the world's best pie crust. Make sure he overhears you.

24. Do what it takes to stay healthy and sane.

25. Keep in mind that life is short. Don't waste time holding grudges or focusing on petty upsets that, in the big picture, mean nothing. Focus, instead, on the ways that your marriage is loving and good.

Original Article: huffingtonpost.com

Miss Representing

I want to speak to you about the theme of a little film I saw called ‘Miss Representation’ and it applies to our love and intimate lives today.

If you haven’t heard of ‘Miss Representation’ it was featured on the OWN network.  It was made by the Lieutenant Governor of California’s wife and it really looks at women in the media.  How they depict it?  What are the roles?  How women are viewed - women in politics, women in business as well as the women that you see in the story lines throughout television and film.  And it wasn’t new information but compacted into a 2-hour piece.  It was very impactful.

And, one of the things that came out of it was that over the last 10 years the way women have been perceived and talked about in the media has disintegrated.  And this showed many examples of how a woman in politics or business is fair game for talking about her looks in a derogatory way of basing her credibility in if she have PMS or not, how attractive she is.  And it was very interesting to watch this in light of the recent comments by Rush Limbaugh regarding Miss Fluke and his derogatory comments calling her a very degrading names and that’s not the end of it.

Women, you see more and more often in sexually demeaning roles, inquisitions and pitted against each other in relationships.  This was the theme of the film, is that we have to wake up as human beings to what we’re watching and what we’re allowing our children to watch.

Sexty-seven percent of women have an eating disorder and that’s freezing because we are fed this constant menu of very one dimensional types of women and what does that do to our dynamics in relationships?

Subconsciously, it really undervalues who you are as a woman.  It also subconsciously communicates how you expect to be treated and how men can treat you.  It’s very important to realize what we’re feeding ourselves for what we watch, what we listen to, what we read every day.  And we have the power to change that and the way we do that is by choosing what we watch, choosing what we buy to read, choosing what we look at on the internet and choosing how we conduct ourselves as a woman and what we expect.  What are the values and the treatment that we are willing to engage in in our personal relationship?

There are so many amazing men that watched these videos every week and I just want to say this is our issue.  It’s time for us to really acknowledge each other as whole people not just little aspect of the self, which is physical attraction.  We are spiritual.  We are emotional.  We are physical.  We are mental.  And all of that has to be acknowledged within us and expressed and received in a relationship. 

If you’re not doing that today, you’re playing into the degradation of relationships as we are experiencing them today.

Love Tips: How to Fight Fair

How you argue with your partner determines the success of your relationship.  This article offers love tips to really understand how to fight or end a fight without losing your control.  This is something that you need to learn.  Control is actually a primary requirement for fighting fair.  Regardless of how you feel, you cannot be abusive.

Disagreements will happen.  It happens in any relationship.  You will have different opinions and you will likely argue with your partner.  It is important, therefore, that you know how to fight fair.  Here are some great love tips on how to do just that.

First off, if you would like to fight fair, you need to ask your partner if you could engage in a conversation or discussion.  Just like aristocratic Europeans who invite their opponents to a duel, you should ask your partner or your lover if you could bring up a point of conflict.  You could begin by asking, “Can I bring an observation to your attention that I would like your thoughts about?”  If he or she is open to that discussion, then you can proceed in a calm voice.  If he or she is not open to this discussion, then you can ask them when it might be a better time, but don’t let the tension last before you go to sleep.  You need to resolve any conflict between you and your spouse as soon as you can.  Letting it simmer will eventually take the joy and ease out of your relationship.

These love tips will help you resolve conflicts without fighting dirty.  A fight often starts when two people rub each other the wrong way.  A simple observation could offend the more sensitive couple and this could spark a huge fight.  The difference in the couple’s attitudes, priorities and views can trigger a fight.  When faced with this kind of fight, you have two choices:  you could either fight in order to win or you could choose to engage in a conflict resolution discussion.  The latter choice allows you to find common ground which will help you empower yourselves as individuals and strengthen your relationship.  The first choice aims to dominate; the second choice aims to strengthen a partnership.

Love Tip Steps on Fighting Fair

1.  Begin your sentences with “I feel” when talking to your spouse.  Often, people do not see themselves clearly in a conflict; so it is important that you stay calm and you talk about your feelings instead of enumerating all his or her flaws or faults.  Talking about how you feel makes a lot of difference in a conversation.

2.  Consider how your partner feels too.  There is always room for constructive observation and feedback.  You need to look and consider your partner’s point of view and feelings as well and communicate those observations.  You need to find the balance between honoring your point of view and respecting your partner’s views as well.

Don’t be afraid of conflict. Conflict can be increasingly averted in your intimate relationship by understanding where each person is coming from. Your abilities to fight fair can help strengthen your relationship.

More love tips at Love TV.

How to Keep Money Issues from Messing Up Your Own Romantic Relationship

Money issue is usually an induce point for couples’ misunderstandings. Along with factors behind reasons, money troubles include messing up with your own romantic relationship. Couples chat impatiently in relation to young children, interpersonal blueprints as well as property, nonetheless seldom can they discuss willingly about income. Of course, revenue matters are seldom intimate; and so, it can be glaringly obvious those money issues may cause large difficulties for partners. It could make or separate a relationship.

Where Will The Challenge Sit?

Money concerns can certainly arise from a variety of trouble spots:
1. How budgets are currently being handled. Generally, one companion remains with all the responsibility with managing the budget. This contains cash strategy, paying the bills, etc. This can be very tense for that spouse executing a cash strategy. He or the lady may possibly think there're currently being saddled considering the responsibilities plus anxieties.
2. Couples have several perceptions towards money. People currently have diverse attitude toward money. While a few generally is a miser, people can be quite a spendthrift. This unique perspective generally displays this couple’s unique priorities too. While one companion could concern coming into financial debt, other partner will have a mellow frame of mind when it comes to financial loans plus credit. This also demonstrates crucial variations in a couple’s watch towards other parts which include relatives and children.
3. Deeper underlying troubles influencing the couple. Frequently, funds difficulties may be a symptom of the even larger romance issue. Often, quarrels aren't whatever they be visible on the finish. Once the top is definitely scraped, income misunderstandings may show a great deal larger along with more intense troubles.

How to Retain Money Issues out of Damaging Your Own Partnership

Before you even get into just about any relationship, you need to inspire on your own initially. You ought to acquire yourself without a doubt. If you're a holistic man or woman, it is also possible to be able to on purpose go with a lover who seems to explain to you the same interests, landscapes and point of view.

Young people need revenue to reside. Occasionally, you will discover people who wish a plentiful life-style. A few which you pick is one who is actually inwardly and outwardly compatible with you. He or she ought to be a person that explains to you related interest close to money.

Generally, folk have his or her group of weaknesses and strengths. They are fascinated by other people who showcase advantages throughout areas where they're poor. Since both partners work on developing and developing areas that can become healthier, they have got better chances with developing their variances plus working away issues, which include money.

Real relationships develop when you're compatible with another person in your mind, emotionally, physically, and emotionally therefore you really are serious about and like the way your relationship goes and also leisure activities that your romantic relationship produces out for any wholesome, pleased, as well as abounding life-including on your path of financial freedom.

Learn more about relationship issues at Love TV via http://www.sacredlove.com

How to Choose a Really Great Lover

How to Choose a Really Great Lover (via OM Times Magazine)

New Year in Love 2012

Today I want to speak to you about your New Year in Love

What is it going to look like? What is it going to feel like? What is the experience going to be like for you? This is the perfect moment to choose... a perfect moment to start a new love life for yourself.

How would you do that? I would suggest creating a vision and I encourage you to Vision Big.

You can create a vision of love based on your deepest inner knowing of what the experience could be like for you! How would you express your love? How would you express your intellect and your spirit and your physicality?

So to craft your new vision for 2012 I want to encourage you to utilize multimedia. If you are inspired by art create a vision board. It could be out of any material or medium that you so choose. If you are business oriented person make a PowerPoint of your vision for love of in 2012. If you're a musician or musical play your guitar, drums or sing to add your talent into your vision for love in 2012.

Whatever way you choose to express yourself, really create a vision that you can grow into, that you can become more of yourself by experiencing.

Now one thing in making a vision and another in Creating the Reality of that Vision.

You Create Your Vision by keeping it as a Vigil... coming back to it, listening to it, looking at it, reading it... again and again until it becomes real. And as thing start to manifest into reality you check them off or you circle them or you draw a big smiley face on that part of the vision that is actually occurring! So you can hold your vision accountable! You can measure it!!

Now a vision will not work, even if you put the vision together, the music together or the journal together. It will not work if you keep spending your time focusing on what isn't right or what hasn't happened, what your past experiences have been like that were unfulfilling. If you keep your mind in that place, your emotions in that place this new vision cannot take root. It takes incredible discipline to be vigilant about your vision but I know that it is possible for you!!

And I want to encourage you to really go for it this year. For a New Year in Love create a vision and keep it vigil.

For some help with getting started with your New Vision in Love that will work for singles as well as couples check this out.

Happy New Year and New Love! from www.sacredlove.com

Giving Thanks for Love

Today I would like to speak to you about gratitude in love.

So often we are focused on what we would rather experience in a relationship or what we are yearning to experience in our love lives. And we fail to account for the love that is actually present for us now.

And so I want to take a moment to talk about that because as we acknowledge the love that is

here for us now it provides the support for more love to grow.

I want to take this moment to acknowledge Self-Love. How do you love yourself? That is such an important part of the whole love equation. How are you loving yourself? How are you honoring yourself? How are you respecting yourself? Take that love into account, that love that is present.

I also encourage you to acknowledge family love. Loving Family Relationships that have been there for you through time. Take this moment to acknowledge them.

Also your Friends, the loving friendships that you have that have seen you through ups and downs and different stages of your life.

The Colleagues that you share with on a regular basis that you laugh with that you create with, that you work hard with. Acknowledging those relationships.

And the relationships in your Community. Whether that is at the post office, at the coffee shop, at a newstand. The people that you interact with everyday... acknowledging those relationships. And lastly, I want to acknowledge the love that is present, percolating and growing in your Intimate love life.

Wherever you are in the continuum... whether that is single, dating in a new relationship or have been with someone for decades acknowledge the love that is present for you right now. The love that is in the air, that is starting to form, that has been there and getting better with age. Taking this moment to really appreciate the love that you have in your life.

I encourage you to take a moment to write to some of the people that you love today, whether it is a line, a quote, a poem or a paragraph saying hey I really appreciate you.

I want to Thank You for being a very important part of the Sacred Love Community.

And I want to wish you a very Loving Thanksgiving!

We are here to support you in enjoying Your Ultimate Love Life now.

Relationship Advice and Dating Tips Ask Karinna: Back in the Scene

“I have just recently divorced. The last 7 years of marriage have been terrible. I was living with a very immature control freak. Now I just want to move on and meet someone new. How can I get back in the scene again?” ~ C

I'm really sorry that you had such a terrible experience your last seven years of marriage. What I want to say to you is that number one to get back in the scene again you have to leave the baggage behind. You don't want to walk into the dating scene carrying a heavy weight on your shoulders ... that is your old relationship story ....your old experience being with a control freak. You need to get very, very clear about how that relationship served you. What did you learn from it? How were you inspired to become someone different from it? What did being with someone controlling and being in a terrible relationship teach you? Come out with the gold. Come out with the gifts.

That is the starting point for you for getting back into the dating scene.

So once you have that clarity and you come in fresh with all this new knowledge, al this new insight and all this empowerment then secondly you need a relationship makeover meaning discovering who you are as a lover today. You are different than the lover who entered into that relationship all those years ago.

Discover who she is, who she is emotionally? What does she need? What can she give physically mentally and spiritually?

Cultivate ...get into that great experience of cultivation and nurturing the lover in you. That is going to be very attractive to a new person.

The makeup and the wardrobe come after you have actually made over the lover within yourself. Do both. Enjoy the process. And come fresh, refreshed for love.

Thirdly I suggest trying Sacred Love Dating. You can find someone great to interact with and perhaps to start a relationship with. It is available nationally in the United States as well as UK. So you can choose. It is a great way to get back out there and start to connect but come without the baggage and come as a new lover.

Sacred Love's Daily Love Quote
What Way Can You Express Yourself as a Lover Today--Whether You ARE With Someone or Not?
Have Play Practice Today!
Play Protocol
And if you are really ready to meet someone Start Now
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