This week I received several questions about when is the right timing to sleep with someone. Should I sleep with him, should I not? When I sleep with him he doesn't call me. These kinds of questions. I wanted to get right to the point of when is the right time to sleep with someone.
What are you seeking out of this particular relationship? Do you just want to have a good time? Is sharing yourself with that person telling them you love them and you are ready to commit? It is very different for men and women. Women, when you sleep with someone it is like you are mated with that person. You might think that you disconnect as easily as a man but that is not the case. As soon as you share your body with a man, you feel bonded to that person. It might not necessarily be the same for the man. He may more easily be able to move on and disconnect emotionally.
There is a three step process in determining whether this is the time for you to sleep with someone.
1-how well do you know this person? Is he healthy in the context of his other relationships?
2-Have you developed a level of trust that you would be safe emotionally and physically in this situation?
3-What does it mean for you, and what does it mean for the other person to share that sexual encounter? Does it mean the same, because if it does then you are on the right track. If it doesn't mean the same then that is what is going to cause the pain, stress and confusion--
Why isn't he calling me? Why isn't he texting me?
What happened here? It's that you don't have the same context and reason for bonding with each other sexually.
I encourage you to really take this to heart. I want you to be very clear with yourself before you even get close to a sexual encounter of checking in on all three things. If you don't have them, then you know it's like throwing dice, you may get something great and you may not.
If you want a one night stand, then be okay with someone not calling you, someone not texting you again.
You need to be on the same page and that will ultimately give you what you want.
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