Friday, October 12, 2012

Ask Karinna: Unconscious Loving



Dear Karinna,

I have lost faith in relationships. Whenever I am in one there is always some intolerable dynamics or behaviors that end the relationship. Why can't love be loving?
V

V,
Sounds like you have been faced with your share of Unconscious Love Behaviors in relationships. This is what will turn any relationship downhill.

Unconscious Loving Behavior can show up as:

Words not matching actions
Lack of follow through
Lying
Manipulation sexually, emotionally, or mentally
Passive Aggressive Behavior
Repetitive Angry Outbursts
Verbal or Physical Abuse
Betrayal

You should not learn to tolerate these behaviors. You need to learn to be keenly conscious in your love dynamics from start to finish. Use these steps:
Spot These Behaviors
Call Them for What They Are
Be Proactive
Hold Accountable Yourself and Partner in These Dynamics


What creates escalating issues in a relationship is when you see unconscious behavior taking place the first, second, third time and you let is slide and slide.

You do this out of a feeling of need for the relationship and you set yourself up for unfulfilling and disrespectful dynamics in the relationship to continue...these types of dynamics drain you and make you question your confidence, self worth, and your decision making. They make you feel weak and worse for being in the relationship.

To have a truly conscious loving relationship it takes courage, proactivity, a high level of accountability and a sincere willingness to let go. If you use this protocol from start to finish in your relationships you will not be disappointed. Each step will be confidence and strength training for you until you ultimately attract and develop a healthy, conscious loving relationship with someone that wants and demands that standard of relating too.
Use Intimate Wisdom to support your process.
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