Tuesday, October 16, 2012

Relationship Issues: Why is Love Difficult





Why is love so difficult? Why can't it be easier to love someone?

Love in itself is not difficult. The absence of love is what is difficult. And we find ourselves in relationships where there are areas that one or both partners cannot love themselves, to value who they are authentically and value the person authentically. So that is what creates strife, stress and hardship in a relationship, that lack of truly loving oneself.

So if your relationship....your love life is stressed out, difficult, tiresome and challenging all the time. Then it's because you or your partner has not done enough work on the LOVER in yourself.
The LOVER is not just what you can do in the bedroom. The LOVER knows how to love....how to be in relationship. They know how to listen...they know how to receive the other person...they know how to support another human being. Being a LOVER also translates into the bedroom: The skills you have for being with someone else's body intimately....for being present....for being sensitive to what the other person needs.... to feel turned-on and excited....to experiment and grow.

These are ways of getting to know and to love the LOVER in oneself, which makes it so much easier to love. And, that's what makes a relationship flow and gives it ease.
What makes love difficult is when one person has decided:

This is all there is
That's all I'm willing to do
I'm not interested in knowing more
I'm not interested in giving more
I'm not interested in receiving more

So, I encourage you to focus on being a LOVER. Make that part of your daily life just like brushing your teeth, just like getting on the internet...just like doing an exercise workout. Give yourself a little bit of time whether it's ten minutes to an hour of time everyday to focus on being a LOVER. This is what's going to make love a lot more fun, a lot easier..... and the days of feeling that love is difficult will slowly pass away.


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