Monday, October 20, 2014

Betrayal of Trust

When someone has betrayed your trust in relationship, what do you do?

Alright, well when someone has betrayed your trust in a relationship you feel like someone has punched you in the stomach and it feels absolutely terrible.  Depending on the level of intimate relationship you have with this person or persons will determine how deep you feel the betrayal.  For instance, if he is an acquaintance, you’ll say, oh that was wrong.  But if it is a best friend or a spouse or partner or really tight colleague, you’ll feel that your foundation has crumbled as your most intimate relationships make up your support system.  Most people will betray your trust because they are really afraid of your truth and I want you to remember that. 

There are some suggestions for dealing with the betrayal of trust. 

First, assess the situation.  Determine what the betrayal was and how was it executed.  Before you do anything else just discover what it was.  Before you talk to anyone what was it and how are you getting this information?  How do you know that these betrayals actually occur?

Two, confront the situation.  Make the person or people that betrayed your trust very aware for clear communication that you know what is happening. 

Thirdly, give them the opportunity to come clean.  For the record, is this true or not true?  You ask for the reason why.  No, you may not get the real truth.  So, you have to be prepared for that.  If the party or parties answered that they don’t know why it happened then you’re dealing with people who’re not connected to their own truth.

Then, next, you ask for a remedy whether that is an apology, an acknowledgement going to couples coaching or a proposed solution and you request this and then you ask or they prepare to give that to you.

Often, when people betray another person, they feel entitled or they want to blame the other party for why they betrayed you.

When you get the response of how prepared they are to give you what you need in terms of the remedy, you will know there are level of value of you and their level of commitment to your relationship.

Do not back down on asking or expecting the truth and respect.  It is the only way you can genuinely have a healthy love and a healthy life.

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