Tuesday, August 12, 2014

Love Advice: Why Is Love Difficult?


Why is love so difficult?  Why can it be easier to love someone?

Well, love in itself is not difficult.  The absence of love is what is difficult.  And we find ourselves in relationships where there are areas that one or both partners do not love themselves to value who they are authentically and value the other person authentically. 
So, that’s what creates the strife and stress and hardship in a relationship is that lack of truly loving oneself.  And so, if your relationship, your love life is stressed out, it’s difficult, it’s tiresome, challenging all the time.  Then, it’s because you or your partner has not done enough work on the lover in yourself.  And a lover is not just what you can do in the bedroom.  A lover knows how to love.  They know how to be in relationship.  They know how to listen.  They know how to receive the other person and they know how to support another human being.

Being a lover also translates into the bedroom and the skills you have for being with someone else’s body intimately for being present in intimacy, for being sensitive to what the other person needs to feel turned on and excited and wants to experiment and grow.
So, these are ways of getting to know and to love the lover in oneself, which makes it so much easier to love.  And that what makes the relationship flow and what gives it the ease.  What makes it difficult is when one person has decided this is all there is.  That’s all I’m willing to do.  I’m not interested in knowing more.  I’m not interested in giving more.  I’m not interested in receiving more.

And so, I encourage you to focus on being a lover.

Being a lover, make that part of your daily routine just like brushing your teeth, just like getting on the internet, just like doing an exercise workout, give yourself a little bit of time whether that’s 10 minutes to an hour of time everyday to focus on being a lover.  This is what’s going to make love a lot more fun, a lot easier and the days of feeling that love is difficult will slowly pass away.




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