Why is love so difficult? Why can it be easier to love someone?
Well, love in itself is not difficult. The absence of love is what is
difficult. And we find ourselves in
relationships where there are areas that one or both partners do not love
themselves to value who they are authentically and value the other person
authentically.
So, that’s what creates the strife and stress
and hardship in a relationship is that lack of truly loving oneself. And so, if your relationship, your love life
is stressed out, it’s difficult, it’s tiresome, challenging all the time. Then, it’s because you or your partner has
not done enough work on the lover in yourself.
And a lover is not just what you can do in the bedroom. A lover knows how to love. They know how to be in relationship. They know how to listen. They know how to receive the other person and
they know how to support another human being.
Being a lover also translates into the bedroom
and the skills you have for being with someone else’s body intimately for being
present in intimacy, for being sensitive to what the other person needs to feel
turned on and excited and wants to experiment and grow.
So, these are ways of getting to know and to
love the lover in oneself, which makes it so much easier to love. And that what makes the relationship flow and
what gives it the ease. What makes it
difficult is when one person has decided this is all there is. That’s all I’m willing to do. I’m not interested in knowing more. I’m not interested in giving more. I’m not interested in receiving more.
And so, I encourage you to focus on being a
lover.
Being a lover, make that part of your daily
routine just like brushing your teeth, just like getting on the internet, just
like doing an exercise workout, give yourself a little bit of time whether
that’s 10 minutes to an hour of time everyday to focus on being a lover. This is what’s going to make love a lot more
fun, a lot easier and the days of feeling that love is difficult will slowly
pass away.
2 comments:
Amazing post.
Top romance author in India
Great post! While it is painful to realize that the lack of love may stem from lack of security within "you," it gives one a place to start. Looking within and fixing oneself takes a lot of strength and work; but I can see how it would make a world of difference. I accept the challenge :-)
Thank you for your wisdom.
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