A colleague of mine recently met a guy. There was chemistry. He
wined and dined her. They had fun together. Then all of a sudden he said that
he had to move on. She was left numb. Then she noticed he was on an online
dating site. She had let herself go with him and then she discovers she was
dating a player. How do you know when a person is a player?
There are certain people, men and women, that like to play the
field. You may call these types players. What isn't play is when that person
doesn't let the person they are engaging with known up front about it so that
you can make an informed decision.
Underneath numbness it can feel at the least like someone
splashed cold water all over the warm wonderful feelings you were beginning to
have. Or more intensely, that you have been used for someone else's momentary
pleasure. No one wants to have the experience of being discarded for the next
attraction.
The key is to be able to get to know who someone is before you
actually step into the intimate relationship. This is what historical courtship
was all about. You let things develop. There was time to get to know each
other. You went on outings with friends so that you could get other peoples
opinion about that person for you. You would also have certain pre-set criteria
that would help you discern through this process that it was clearly right for
you to take the next step to engage your heart and your body.
Today with a fast paced world we live in it is very tempting
when we are actively seeking a great relationship to want to jump in with two
feet once one that looks nice appears at our doorstep. My recommendation is to
do the opposite. Slow it down and let it cook. Trust yourself and the process
and take responsibility for your emotional journey. Needy will pair you up with
these types and also drive a real partner elsewhere.
Players who don't communicate who they are upfront will not want
to engage for an extended period because the drama is part of their play. BTW
these types don't like confidence either. So you will be able to eliminate
these types very quickly by adhering to taking your time and staying confident
and emotionally balanced.
If you are seeking a healthy, loving relationship...you have one
trajectory which is to date leisurely, with discernment through the process,
and when you see, feel, hear and know it has the foundation you are seeking
fall in love and create partnership that will nourish and sustain you.
2 comments:
well that all sounds pretty good but if you met on a site u might think they could b on one or five possibly and if your association has been mail text but never in person pretty hard to make decision as for the date sights might take u off of list but they keep track and put u on list and send updates about available I have seen three such happenings as of late I'm sure u can remove but won't b as handy as it w as s to get there there's a lot of them I don't even look because there's definitely a difference in quality but dating regular or consistently with one interest it wouldn't b very good profile and not fair or right nor should u keep one in the closet 4 spare but assuming without asking is a different playing field 4 either sex
Thank you for dropping by Kelly. Much appreciated =)
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