Friday, January 30, 2009

Ted and Gayle Haggard-Role Models?

I saw Ted Haggard and his wife Gayle on Larry King last night.

It seems like he/they have done some soul searching and repair work. She seems like a saint. That is well…I'm not sure.

I have some big thoughts about ministers who pound people with their opinions about sex, when they should have or not have sex and who they should or should not have sex with and then turn around and do the very thing that they are preaching against.

But the worst for me is Ted going after young men in his church such as Haas who has said following his hidden relationship with Haggard, there was a period of isolation, struggles with drinking, drugs and suicide attempts.

Compassion and forgiveness were thrown around in last night’s interview alot. They are easy words but how do you make up for screwing with a young person’s head and body which often takes decades to get over it, if ever.

Yes, I believe that you can process your painful experiences and abuses of power in the case of Haas with the help of good counselors and heal, but after how long. Or in Haggard’s case process the dichotomy and destructive behavior and become more conscious about who you are but after what cost to so many others.

In general I think Evangelicals are hesitant to talk through their sexual identity with anyone and are generally weary of counselors outside of church environments because they believe anything other than marital heterosexual sex in un-Christian. I think this narrow parameter of acceptable sexual activity is the crux of so many sexual distortions leading to sexual deviance.

If anything from the interview last night I hope that Haggard brought to light the importance and aide of good therapy to relieve wrestling with sexuality and personal demons. That is what Ted professed had happened for him.

Gayle Haggard seemed strong. Ted seemed clearer. They seemed united in their marriage after coming through a major, horrifying chapter of betrayal and abuse that affected their relationship and many others.

Role Models? You tell me.


Sheri Koretke said...

No, they aren't great role models. I saw Haggard on Oprah and he is still in denial about his sexuality. I don't believe you can be truly heterosexual with such strong gay thoughts. He has proven he will sleep with men and it's more than mere thoughts to him. Such denial is not honest in a marriage and I believe he will have a really hard time being faithful to his wife.

Margretta de Vries said...

I watched both Oprah and Larry King interviews, and also saw the documentary on HBO. I agree that both Ted and Gayle are in denial about his sexuality, but... I think they are a role model for choosing how to deal with it as a couple. They've made their choice, and they have chosen each other, and that is admirable.

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