The fact of the matter is that if you’re dating after divorce, you’ve got baggage. It’s hard to go from a supposedly lifelong committed relationship to dinner with someone you met online, texted a couple of times, and maybe had a phone conversation or two with. It’s exciting, yes, but it can also be nerve-racking as all get out.
Here are some tips for surviving the beginning stages of a brand new relationship after divorce.
Remember that he’s not your ex: This is possibly the most important one to remember. Just because he mentions his mom doesn’t mean he’s a mama’s boy, and if he doesn’t text you for a day or two, it doesn’t mean he’s willfully ignoring you -- he may just be super busy. Of course he’s not perfect (neither are you) but he’s got his own unique issues that you’ll figure out eventually if the relationship keeps moving forward. For now, just enjoy the not knowing.
Don’t date to cheer yourself up: Date when you feel good enough about yourself to risk the rejection of, well, rejection. It’s highly unlikely that you’ll meet your next life partner two seconds after your marriage ended, which means that there are going to be some times where you’re just not that into each other, and of course the painful times when he’s just not that into you. Try to be in a healthy, emotional place before you open yourself up to that.
Take care of yourself: Don’t expect a new flame to be an emotional crutch, or have anything to do with your honey-do list. This is the time to show him, but more importantly yourself, that you’re a capable lady who would like a man, but doesn’t need one.
Remember that men are like buses: Another one is always around the corner. Seriously, it’s ridiculous how many single people are out there looking for love just like you. If it doesn’t work out after a few dates with someone, don’t try to hold onto it with a death grip. Trying to fit a square peg into a round hole never does anyone any good. Take a deep breath, tell yourself you just prevented your second divorce, and let it go.
What was your biggest challenge dating after divorce?
Original Article: huffingtonpost.com