Lover with the Whole Package

When I started dating my partner, they were such a great catch.  Good-looking, great job, fun to be with, we went out all the time.  The circumstances have now changed and I don’t want to stay.  Can you please advise me?

Well, it seems that when you got together you were very interested in your partner’s outside package.  It looked like they had the whole package – who were good-looking, who had a great job, went out a lot.  All of that looks really really good but the one constant in life is that external circumstances change.  Wake us up and down.  Someone’s health might change.  Financial income may decrease or increase.  Someone may have a lot of positions at one point in their life and very little at another.  Their interests can also change where they are interested in going out.  What they’re interested in doing may change.

A great relationship is founded on the inside.  Character is incredibly important - being a good person, being generous, having good social skills, having good follow-through.  This is character, emotional development.  How does a person experience their emotions?  Are they at peace inside or they’re very volatile?  Do they love life or do they look for what’s wrong with the picture?  Can they be intimate? 

These are things that are really important emotionally to picking the right partner.

You can tell a lot about a book by what’s inside the pages.  Who were they friends with?  What are their relationship dynamics like?  Would you spend a lot of time with these people?  And do they have good family relationship dynamics?

What’s their mission?  What’s their passion for life?  Are they committed to it?  And what are they committed to already at this stage in their life?  These are essential qualities to look for.  They’re based on what’s happening inside a person.  Whether that what it looks like on the outside.  The outside may look like a great package but it’s really what’s on the inside that makes it great.

And I encourage you to look at the inside of your partner now.  Maybe the circumstances have changed.  Do they have the goal?  The goal for having a great relationship and if they do, then look deeper inside of yourself to strike gold within you and reach a deeper level of the whole package inside and out.