Tuesday, March 18, 2014

Do What You Say In Love


What do you do when a person that you were dating and really like keeps breaking their commitments? 

Excellent question.

Well, number one is that you check in and see if you were keeping your commitments.  Are you being respectful?  Are you honoring the partnership?  Are you playing games because games are a sign that you are not being respectful or responsible to the relationship?  So check in, make sure that you are.

And number two, don’t let this slide.  You may think it’s going to get better?  But it actually will not. 

Third, really address this with the person.  Let them know that they are breaking their commitment s with you.  And have very specific examples of how this is taking place so that they’re clear on what you are experiencing. 

You also need to let them know that this is not respectful to you and that this can’t continue.  You can also ask why is this happening?  And usually you will get a pretty straight answer of why this is happening.  But any excuse in the book doesn’t make up for being disrespectful.

So fourth, you need to lay down a simple rule.  Do what you say you’re going to do.  Do what you say you’re going to do and see how they respond to this.  If they’re really interested in a relationship with you, they’re going to step forward and they are going to do what they say they are going to do.  And if they say ‘okay I will’ and then they start to falter, you need to bring it up and you need to bring it up quickly.  If they get angry then they are really not interested in having a respectful accountable relationship with you on this level.  And if they falter and you bring it up and they say ‘oh okay I got it’.  Then, there’s an opportunity for them to get better and better at really being an accountable partner to you and in this relationship.

With these steps in place, you are on your way to having a trusting, conscious and successful relationship.  And if not, it is time to say goodbye.


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