My love life seems to have one major obstacle from my experience: my age. I'm 58 and will be 59 in December. I either attract very young men (20-something) who just want to have s ex with me; men in their mid to late thirties who think I'm 40-something and actually want to date me (but as I'm much too old for them, I can't); or men over 45 who don't want to be with a woman anywhere near their own age and certainly not older than them.
As I'm not attracted to the geriatric generation and really am very youthful I feel stuck in an ageist time warp.
Thought you'd have some insight about this. It's been a pretty lonely year...
Looking For Love After 50
Dear Looking For Love,
You are not alone in feeling challenged by attracting a partner who feels age appropriate for you. In fact, there are many wonderful, beautiful, smart women in their 50's, 60's, and beyond who have spoken to me recently about their frustration on the dating scene with men over 50 wanting to find someone younger.
Well there will always be individual men out there who feel that a younger partner is fitting for them for any number of reasons, such as:
1) They share the same emotional maturity level (remember, some people
mature slower and others faster)
2) They want to feel younger (a lot of people have a difficult time feeling that on their own)
3) They want to feel needed (an older partner can generally offer a broader life experience perspective)
4) Some people want to be taken care of (this goes for both the older male and the younger female)
While all these scenarios can be true it doesn't have to be a double standard or that way for you. First of all, Love What Is Appearing in Your Life.
Take advantage of the dating invitations that are coming your way from the 30-something-year-olds and explore your common interests and compatibility. You may even develop a new perspective on love and partnering. Bless those guys that are seeing the True Beauty in you! I am finding that this generation seems to be very open minded, open hearted, and certainly have strong libidos.
Also go out to events that people your own age enjoy where you will have the opportunity to mingle and meet. This could be networking events in your industry or singles events for people just in the age range you are looking for. Have parties with some of your coupled friends and ask them beforehand to invite their great single friends for you to meet. Community events, such as a political event or community support group, are also great meeting places. I am sure you also have others that you can add to this list!
The key is to keep your attitude positive, stay healthy and get out of the house and start meeting a lot of new and interesting people. Then your Sacred Partner can find you!
Got a question for Ask Karinna? Send it to me.